Shiryu is the only character that always has to go blind in every battle.
After receiving vocal chord surgery after his friend Isaak stabbed him in the throat, he spontaneously became this awesome surfer dude, who needlessly makes countless Batman-esque ice-puns throughout every battle.ĭragon Shiryu The Chinese guy who was trained by a purple Yoda ripoff. Shun being ultra-masculine with Hyoga Cygnus Hyoga Ĭygnus Hyoga He's the blond Communist saint of Duck, who lives in a post-apocalyptic polar wasteland, and spends his days pissing off polar bears and French people. He will beat the hell out of any poor sucker who dares question his masculinity. And he uses the chain of Andromeda to walk his ultra-manly mechanical nazi bear, that feeds on dying angels. He cries manly tears of PURE TESTOSTERONE every episode. He's like the Chuck Norris of the saints. His voice is deep and rough, and strikes fear in the hearts of anyone who dares mess with him. But he's strong- he'll get through it all right.Īndromeda Shun By far the manliest of the saints, and wears the pink Andromeda cloth to look extra masculine. But he's convinced that his friends (and everyone else) hate him, which is the cause of his depression problems. But because almost everyone he meets is a shallow waste of skin, rumors that he's stupid, useless, and straight have come in. Definately someone you'd want to be friends with.
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He's trustworthy, brave, intelligent, talented, and hey, he gives free blowjobs. Some say he'll probably commit suicide one day from having to deal with her constant bitching, or if he's lucky, he'll become a side-character in Dragon Ball Z. He also spends half his time getting violated by Athena, and she's too stupid to realize that he's gay, or that everyone else is. While he busts his ass to get shit done, nobody really cares because they're too busy being self-righteous pricks. Pegasus Seiya The supposed hero of the series, who suffers getting abused by pretty much everyone at least once. He shall defeat evil with the power of rockabilly music. Then there's a spinoff, which will most likely be disappointing too.Ĭharacters Pegasus Seiya It actually kind of leaves you with the same type of ending Neon Genesis Evangelion did. So Ikki decided to be a real bitch that day he showed up, stealing the tournament prize.Īfter this, the plot is basically doomed, and by the end of it, it hardly even pays respect to the initial plot and characters. He is the most unreasonable character in the whole series, because he wins every fight - as he cannot die - and angsts like he's an emo or something.
After a few nasty brawls, some jackass with a cliched, angsty past shows up: he turns out to be Ikki, the saint of Phoenix. She says that if Seiya wins, he can see his sister, who was probably living a wonderful life while he got his ass beaten.ĭuring this tournament, Seiya met Hyoga the Communist surfer, Shiryu the Chinese stripper, and Shun, the manliest man on earth. Saori Kido, who later turned out to be Athena, constantly abuses Seiya just because she can, and then forces him to fight in some stupid illegal tournament and win some even more ridiculous-looking armor.
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While he continues to soldier on through all the odds, he slowly realizes that all his friends probably hate him, so he spends his nights dreaming that someday, he'll wake up in a different series that will actually have a decent conclusion. Our story follows Seiya, a free-spirited gay boy, who was taken out of a peaceful life to be abused and have all forms of dignity and self-respect taken away from him. While it was important in the beginning of the series, as more pointless battles and characters were added, it was reduced to a pleasant though repetitive plot device. During this time, they would unlock the secrets of the universe (or 'cosmos'). After suffering years of having to serve their masters, they would return home still somewhat prepubescent, and dress in brightly colored spandex and ridiculous looking armor. Six years before the main happenings of the series, 100 little boys were sent into child labor.
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